Rookie Mistake

In each of my living situations, I feel like the biggest mistake I made was having the wrong mindset about living with someone. I entered the situation thinking that each person was a friend foremost and secondarily a roommate. Even though each relationship began with friendship, the moment you enter into a living situation with someone, the relationship turns to more of a business type experience. The biggest mistake made in each situation was that I should have entered the lease thinking of it as a business relationship, which technically, it is.

In each of my situations, and in most of those my friends have experienced, it seems that regardless if you are friends with another person, once you live with them that status will inevitably change. In rare cases, "best friends forever" actually stay friends, but not without conflict. The reason these relationships change is because you really don't KNOW someone until you live with them. Regardless of the closeness in your friendship, being forced to live in close quarters with another person will always come with issues.

Consider the fact that even when you live at home with your family, disagreements arise. Even though your family loves you, you cannot peacefully exist together all the time. Also consider that traditionally, people were required to take marriage vows and legally swear to their commitment to one another before living together. Perhaps this is because it goes against human nature to share the most intimate spaces of our homes with anyone other than people we REALLY love. If you do not love them, it probably wouldn't be worth it for you to put up with their less than desirable behavior.

When discussing roommate situations, it can be assumed that the parties are not romantically involved. With that being said, my advice is for those entering into roommate contracts to view their cohabitation as a business agreement. Assume that if you financially were able, that you would live alone and therefore no outside agreements such as a roommate would be necessary. In your business-like living arrangement, do not forget that both parties are interested in their own benefit and will behave according to their own needs. With this mindset, you will be able to navigate any issues that arise with clarity and without the interference of emotional concerns such as friendship.