Guests

It is normal to have guests over, but both roommates have to work together to draw lines of respectful and disrespectful behavior. If there is anything you will learn by living with a roommate, it is that no one in the entire world is just like you and your family. Everyone comes from different backgrounds, regions, belief systems, and we were all raised by different parents. Therefore it is unreasonable to expect for a roommate to have innate knowledge of what you feel is a disrespectful action. This understanding can only be reached through communication and compromise.

One of the issues that I have been faced with over and over again is the incessant visitation of boyfriends. I recognize that my boyfriend lives over an hour away and goes to a different college, which means that we do not see each other as frequently as other couples do. However, just because your boyfriend or "dating friend" lives in the same town does not mean it is okay for him to LIVE with you and your roommate.

This was an issue with Lacy because her boyfriend was a controlling jerk and never left our dorm until he felt like it. He was also unemployed so he had no real life responsibilities. Eventually they broke up. Lacy's choices to prefer social activities over academic ones led to her dropping out of college.

This was an issue with Hattie because her boyfriend was 4 years older than us, was unemployed, loved to drink in the afternoon so he couldn't drive home at night, and had no real life responsibilities. He did not graduate high school and never attempted any type of secondary education. He was a loser, but she "loved" him and wouldn't listen to any of her friends advice. He eventually cheated on her and they broke up. Hattie's preference of social activities led to her quitting college at KSU. She now attends a technical school part time.

This is currently an issue with Kate. She and her boyfriend are both 19 years old and very immature. They both work and still attend college, but he smokes weed and she has a very hard time going to class. I hope that Kate will dump this loser, but I have learned that no matter what I say, she will have to figure things out for herself. They are attached at the hip which makes it nearly impossible for Kate and I to have any type of relationship or communication. He is very disrespectful of our shared property and I can see the negative effects he has made on Kate's personality.

The point here: No good boyfriend will led you away from your goals. If you are a good student and he urges you to skip class, dump him. If you want a college degree and he convinces you that its too hard or too expensive, dump him. I am so disappointed in my previous roommates because they had so much ability and potential, but they let others interfere with their goals and have now missed their opportunity to succeed.