Shared Spaces

Many issues can develop over sharing spaces. No matter what type of building you share with your roommate, there will always be a common area. Along with the common area, the property in that area is usually shared. This relates back to the previous post about private property because someone had to provide amenities in the shared spaces, such as a couch and TV for the living room, or a washer and dryer, or even a dining room table. The most effective way to share this property and space is to be responsible for your own use. If you make a mess or cause damage to a shared item, it is your responsibility to fix the problem you caused.

I learned this lesson the hard way. My first roommate, Lacy, was a very stubborn person and our attempts at communication usually failed. Big time. Due to that, a passive-aggressive environment was created and we both contributed to the conflict by purposefully making a mess of each others property or purposefully causing damage to it. For example, when we argued over who would take the trash out, we both behaved in a immature way by refusing to take it until the smell of the trash was unbearable. If it was my turn to take the trash out, she would "accidentally" smear food and other disgusting items all over the handles and exterior of the bag. This behavior was childish, but it was also effective. After that incident, I bought my own trash can and we had separate garbage.

My current situation has led me toward these same issues again, except in a less manageable way. Kate is an extremely messy person and doesn't take care of any property in the apartment; whether it is mine or hers, she will destroy it. I made the choice to provide a couch and TV for our living room area, which is a shared space. I bought the couch from a friend and it is in extremely good condition. The material of this sectional can be very easily stained or damaged and, of course, Kate has succeeded in doing so. She, and her guests, have spilled drinks and food on the sofa, marked it with some type of ink and other unidentified items. The problem exists in the fact that it is unreasonable for me to remove the couch but there is also no way for me to change her behavior. The lesson here is simple: if you have property that you do not want to be damaged, do not bring it into a shared space.

This is probably the reason that most dorm rooms are fully furnished. The risk of trusting another person to respect your items is too high for many students and they therefore live in fully furnished apartments. I have accepted the fact that my property will be damaged and I have learned this life lesson. I hope others will take my advice and not have to learn this lesson for themselves.